Spirit

Loneliness has been a part of my spiritual journey.  At times it profoundly impacted every aspect of my physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual self.  The tissues, bones, and liquids of my body felt immersed in loneliness until I felt there wasn’t any me, just the overwhelming loneliness.  It has a feeling of a dark fog, cold, and all encompassing.  I felt I was born with this loneliness of unknown origin.

Many ways out of the loneliness were offered to me by family, friends, activities, books, movies, and so forth.  It used to take me a long time to come out of this depth of loneliness.  It felt important to me to find out “why” I felt such loneliness as by all outer appearances, I had most everything anyone could want.  Why wasn’t it enough to be here as a human with all the involvement that goes with marriage, family, friends, career, church, recognition, travel, and so forth?

 

The “why” was my longing to be “home” on The Other Side.  It was a soul deep knowing that I was missing the genuine unconditional love, telepathic learnings, transmissions of knowledge, and unimaginable adventures that I experienced before coming to this human body, and during the near-death experiences I had.  The loneliness dissipated somewhat after my first near-death experience.

 

After my second near-death experience, I no longer carry the loneliness.  Now I am connected with Spirit in every moment and feel that unconditional love flow through me whenever I allow it.  It is the same with telepathic learning, transmissions of knowledge, and unimaginable adventures, they come to me whenever I ask and allow them.  Sometimes they come by way of dreams, sometimes by way of a person, book, and so forth.  But I know they come from The Other Side by the manner in which my body feels during and after the experiences.

 

My body is infused with an all-enveloping contentment and peace in every cell, tissue, bone, and all of my Beingness.  Loneliness doesn’t come into my awareness.  It doesn’t live inside me anymore as I have chosen to embody Spirit.  I have chosen to be an open vehicle with The Other Side.

 

Simple steps with more than I ever dreamed possible available for me.  I don’t need anyone or anything else, even though I choose to have others and things in my life.  It is the greatest comfort I have ever known, this life as a human and a Spirit from The Other Side, both integrated as me.

 

From Angel Voices, The Advanced Handbook for Aspiring Angels, by Karen Goldman, to me this paragraph says it so perfectly:

 

            “We are living not to accumulate memories, but to awaken

            while living; to experience ourselves outside Time, where we

            are complete, ageless, with all potential.  To know our greater

            Being enjoined with the All.  To experience one life, one truth,

            one love, and to identify this, finally as the center of ourselves.”

 

Reggie gets lonely when I am gone for a while, so he goes to sleep and plays on The Other Side.  He wakes up when I come home ready for me to love him and him to love me.  There is an ease in his connection with Spirit.  It just is with him.  It just is with me.  We are so very grateful.  Nancy and Reggie♥

I was raised to be ready – to get up and make the bed, to get dressed with my hair combed and makeup (if any) on, to eat a good breakfast, to do my chores, and then to do whatever the day called me to do.  Was I always cooperative; no, I was not.  I learned that this was not only life preparation but held a much deeper preparation. This was spiritual preparation because I never know when Spirit will call me and in what way.  I learned that it was of upmost importance to me that I be ready.

In reading my emails this morning, one came through that emphasized how two people were ready when Spirit called.  I will paraphrase what was written:

Before landing a large airplane filled with passengers, the pilot found that the plane’s front wheel got stuck and would not come down.  So, when he informed the control room, they were ready. 

They devised a plan to have a pickup truck in the place of the front wheel.  Everything had to be just right.  There were problems to consider, one being when the front portion of the plane falls on the pickup it should not shake.  Another important point was that the speed of the plane and the speed of the pickup must be the same, otherwise the plane could slip down and cause an accident.  It was unknown if the pilot could accurately place the front of the plane in the pickup bed.  It was unknown if the pickup would be able to hold the weight of the front of the airplane.  If the pilot’s placement was not accurate, it was unknown if the pickup would flip up and cause an accident for both the plane and pickup.

The last and most important problem was who would drive the pickup truck.  The call was made for a volunteer to drive the pickup.  One driver came forward to do this, one brave, courageous, loving soul willing to put his life on the line.  He did it accurately and saved the airplane and all of the passengers and crew on it.  He was ready when Spirit called and Spirit enfolded him, the pilot, and all involved until they were safely stopped.

I asked myself if I would have had the courage to do this, would I have been ready when Spirit called?  People used to say of me that I would go where angels fear to tread.  I knew if it came down to it, I would have volunteered.  My agreement with Spirit is that I will go where I am called, say what is mine to say, and do what is mine to do as long as I am able.  I stay ready as I am always enfolded by Spirit!

Reggie stays ready also as he can go for a walk or a ride in a minute.  He stays ready protecting me by barking at any human or animal that is close to the property.  He stays ready to bring me back when I stay on The Other Side longer than he thinks I should. He stays ready for treats and love all the time.  He, too, is always enfolded by Spirit.  Nancy and Reggie♥

 

 

Three years ago on May 4, I moved to Auburn, CA, to a neighborhood that had a community feel, with well-kept homes, and parks nearby.  One of the neighbors on the right side of our home came over with their dog and introduced themselves to Reggie and I.  The other neighbor on the left side of our home and I met out front while walking our dogs.  These neighbors are on each side of my home, so I have felt protected and cared about by their friendliness and helpfulness.

My dear neighbors on the left are the ones we have been the closest to.  They are selling their house and moving to another city in Southern California.  These are the people who saved my life when I called them to say I wasn’t feeling well and could they check on me later.  They came immediately, called 911 and my family, kept Reggie, and the husband stayed with me in the ER until my heart was stabilized around 2:00 am.  This is where Reggie’s friend, Teddy, lives and they have been best buddies since they met.  We keep each others dogs when we go on a trip or need help.  We visit and share about our lives when we see each other or meet in the front yard at 10:00 pm for our dogs last potty walk before going to bed.  Reggie and Teddy seem to communicate that we are going out so they meet to play a bit then say good night.  We share about improvements in our homes and yards.  We celebrate each other’s birthdays.  We meet each other’s families.  Reggie plays with Teddy when I go dancing on Friday evenings.  They are my neighbor “family” whom I dearly love.

The loss of these incredibly loving people and their little Teddy, grieves me deeply and I know it will Reggie also.   Reggie and I became so comfortable with such a wonderful safety net next door knowing we could call and the call would be answered beyond anything I, or Reggie, dreamed was possible.  This loss has caused me to stop, acknowledge the depth of loss I feel, and give thanks for the huge gifts that Spirit gave Reggie and me through these precious people and their little Teddy.

We gained so much from knowing these people as they are multicultural and shared the significant challenges they have had to overcome as individuals and a couple.  The husband came from a country where he had to walk across other countries to gain freedom.  She lived in another country for three years.  They met and married in that country and came to America as she is American.  They have an adorable little 9 year old boy who is exceptionally bright and charming.  I gained the knowledge of real, raw courage through listening to the trials they both endured in getting from a war torn country to where they are today.  I gained deep compassion from watching the husband struggle for a year to recover somewhat from an automobile accident and the impact that had on their family in all ways.  I gained emotional depth by allowing my own feelings of grief to flow from knowing they will no longer be in Reggie’s and my life on a daily basis.  I gained comfort from knowing that I will hold them close in my heart wherever they are and stay in touch.  I gained contentment from Reggie meeting three other dogs in the neighborhood who want to be his play friends just a couple of days ago.

Most of all I gained the experience of what it is for Reggie and I both to be genuinely loved by our neighbors.  The Bible says “Love thy neighbor as thyself.”  I gained the desire to be that kind of a neighbor to whoever moves into their home, if they are willing.  Reggie and I will go on, feel the loss of them for a long while, and then trust that others will come into our lives who will be just a wonderful or even better.  I strengthened my trust that Spirit is always there for us in better ways that I could have created.

That is how it is for Reggie and I, significant losses on the human/animal level and undreamed of gains on the Spirit level.  Nancy and Reggie♥