For the last several days, I have been struggling with wanting to write letters to major organizations in California and the United States regarding recent events as I have a different view. I drafted a good letter outlining my position with supporting researched documentation, just like I used to do in my career. This has taken hours each day and has been my major focus. There is that part of me that wants and knows how to fight for what I consider to be right. There is that part of me that is struggling with the laws, rules, and regulations that are not being enforced and I think my view could make a difference. This has all felt like I had an oppressive layer of darkness blanketing me. I haven’t wanted to connect with friends and have been cocooned in my office researching and writing. I even got upset with my little Reggie. There is the major part of me that has been asking Spirit continually for guidance and waiting until all aspects of my Beingness could feel what is right for me.
Spirit has used me to help bring about justice many times. This time would be on a much larger scale and with potential extreme consequences good or not good. I struggled with what I am not certain I am being called to do. Previous patterns did not involve hesitation, nor much reflection either inner or outer; I just knew what I was to do. Because I did not have this immediate knowing, I spent most of each day searching within and outside myself for my truth and legal support of the truth. I did not connect with others including the media, family, and friends as I knew this was my decision. The importance of the decision I was making was brought to my attention by Spirit. Spirit imparted to me that I exercise care with my “self,” that I consider who I came back here to be, that I carefully consider the impact my actions would have on humanity and the planet itself, and that I allow myself to feel the energy, vibration, and frequency I am putting out just by the actions I have taken so far.
Today the knowing came with such clarity it was like the sun breaking through the clouds. I came back here to be pure Light and Love, to emanate them in all I think, say, and do. I came back here to surrender to the precious flow of Light and Love from Spirit through me out to All That Is. I came back here to send Light and Love to all no matter whether I agree or disagree with them; to release the thoughts of agree or disagree and allow Light and Love to flow through me with no obstructions or restrictions. I came back to truly surrender to Spirit in each moment.
Spirit showed me the darkness of the old way of being, the heaviness with the amount of time spent and of the intensity of wanting to influence organizations and humanity with my view, the escalation of discontent that I would be participating in and that would return to me. Spirit showed me the personal affect it would have on family, friends, and those with whom I am involved. Spirit showed me how this would continue on and on as there would always be something or someone I could choose to judge. Spirit showed me my lack of trust in Divine Justice.
Then Spirit showed me how the Light and Love that I radiate reflects back to me. My physical body immediately felt the difference as I became free with a lightness and with a flow of joy running through me. My mind opened, my body tension and contraction released, my eyes cleared, and my breathing and heart rate returned to normal. I was especially conscious of the releasing of the tension in my fingers and hands as I type on the computer every day. The difference in my finger agility today versus the past few days is remarkable.
It is a choice for my Beingness and what I came back here to hold that transcends my personal life and all occurring on this Earth plane. It is a choice to anchor the pure Light and Love of Spirit, to trust Spirit. It is a choice to remember that and not slip back into old ways of being that no longer serve me and all. It is a choice I am so grateful I made again today at a much deeper level.
Reggie did not like the energy, vibration, and frequency I put out these past few days and was hurt emotionally when I got upset with him. He became sad and withdrew from me for a little while. Spirit was helping him to reflect back to me that I was out of spiritual alignment. Seeing him hurt emotionally touched me and caused me to stop to assess where I was. Spirit protecting each of us with guidance, visions, and the flow of pure Light and Love makes surrendering the only choice. How very grateful we are. Nancy and Reggie♥