Sunday morning I woke up and knew that if I kept doing the same thing that didn’t feel quite right to me, in 10 years, or much less, I would be emotionally dead. I love the small, intimate group of people I have been spending time with every Sunday morning. Their focus is on self growth with no community involvement activities, outreach to the congregants, and so forth. For the past few months, I recognize that I am in between leaving and staying. The small group isn’t enough for me as I want to meet more people and become more involved in the community. There a lots of ways to become involved in the community by volunteering in numerous organizations, clubs, businesses, etc., but church is the way through which I choose to involve myself in the community. They usually have specific groups they assist and this appeals to me.
So, I decided to go down to a big church in Roseville to their mid-morning service (they have three services at 9, 10, and 11), thinking I would meet a lot more people there. They have tremendous programs for community and congregational outreach. Once there, the band of 20 year olds started playing loud music with the stage dark and lights flashing as though we were at a concert; I lasted through two and a half songs. Then I began to feel funny, so I left. As I was driving back up to Auburn, I kept seeing this one pastor’s face at the congregational church, so I went there. I walked in and the church was packed except for one pew down on the left where I had sat before, which I found interesting. It was as though the space was waiting for me.
The church was quiet as they had just finished singing and were ready to start praying. I felt an instant peace and rightness about being there. The pastor gave a message about resurrection of the parts of one’s self that one has let die. I knew when he talked about what the message was going to be that I was guided to that service. Spirit was speaking directly to me through him and I listened. Another part of the message was that everyone was welcome, no matter what they did or didn’t believe in. This was welcome information as I have a “knowing” about things that goes beyond normal awareness which makes some people uncomfortable.
After the service, I introduced myself to the pastor, as I had previously sent him one of my books. His first words were “thank you for the book, I am happy to put a face with the name.” It only took a couple minutes but his openhearted words as he smiled and looked right in my eyes, let me know he is a man who is unafraid to “be” with people. I decided I will attend this church much more often until I am no longer “in between” inside my self.
Friends of mine who have strong connections with Spirit do not attend church and I have considered this also. I eliminated it as I want people involvement since Spirit flows through me all the time and I am alone every day.
Reggie has no trouble with being in between. He chooses to sleep while I go to church, wakes up when he hears the garage door start up, then runs to the door to greet me. He is openhearted all of the time with his love. I am so blessed to have his precious little soul with me, and I am so blessed to have the freedom to choose what is right for me. Nancy and Reggie♥